CO, Mr. Peter Bijur, had heard that diversityrnthing too: “I believe we can take Texacorninto the 21st century as a model ofrndiversity,” he exhorted.rnHowever, Texaco’s lawyer had yetrnmore allegations to examine, namely thernNational Anthem horror and the Kwanzaa/rnHanukkah atrocity. Understandingrnthe importance of wasting its workers’rntime on activities that have nothing torndo with business, Texaco, like most largerncorporations, encourages attendance atrnrecently invented political celebrationsrnsuch as Black History Month. Mr. Lundwall,rnon his own tape, can be heard sayingrnthat he walked out of one of thesernjamborees, because black employees hadrndone an “African” version of the NationalrnAnthem and “sat, during ours, quotern. . . ‘ours,’ as though they’re not includedrn. . . we have two friggin’ nationalrnanthems.” Mr. Ulrich agrees: “I’m notrngoing to the end [of the next diversityrnseminar] this year. I refuse to go.”rnObviously Dr. Thomas and his jellyrnbeans had done their work only too well.rnAs the tape demonstrates, the Texacornexecutives were decrying the separatistrnphilosophy of an “African” National Anthem,rnin favor of the integration advocatedrnby their diversity training mentor.rnThis same opposition to separatism mustrnsurely explain Mr, Ulrich’s problemsrnwith Hanukkah and Kwanzaa: “I’m stillrnstruggling with Hanukkah and now wernhave Kwanzaa, I mean I lost Christmas,rnpoor St. Nicholas, they sh-t all over hisrnbeard.” According to a fretful editorialrnin the Nation, Ulrich meant that blacksrnand Jews who wanted “recognition forrnHanukkah and Kwanzaa had sh-t all overrnSanta Claus’s ‘white’ beard.” I suspectrnthat the word which offended the editorialistrnwas the one she herself had added:rn”white.”rnTexaco’s chairman, meanwhile, hadrnbeen busy undoing all the fine work ofrnthe lawyers Texaco had hired. “Thernstatements on the tapes arouse a deeprnsense of shock and anger among all thernmembers of the Texaco family and decentrnpeople everywhere,” he sighed, inrnan unctuous sermon to the press—contradictingrnhis lawyer’s finding that thernstatements were not derogatory. Therncant about the “Texaco family” was engaginglyrninsincere, considering corporatern”downsizing,” boardroom backstabbing,rnand bribery—whoops, campaign contributions.rnLike any good family man, Mr. Bijurrndecided to be lenient with the four recreantrnmembers of his “family.” Messrs.rnUlrich and Lundwall, having taken earlyrnretirement, were to have their retirementrnbenefits cut, and the two members stillrnworking, Messrs. Keough and Meade,rnwere suspended. Mr. Bijur brought inrna special inquisitor—Judge A. LeonrnHiggenbotham (the impeccably blackrnauthor of In the Matter of Colour)—tornsniff out insensitivity.rnThis was only the beginning. Mr. Bijurrn(perhaps taking his cue from anotherrn”father of his people,” Chairman Mao)rndecided that senior Texaco executivesrnmust roam the country, searching, notrnfor oil, but for Texaco workers to apologizernto. A confidential “Ethics Hotline”rnwould be extended throughout the Texacornworld to encourage the anonymousrnreporting of any behavior, “any behavior”rnthat “violates our core values.” Accordingrnto the p.r. spokesgiri I spoke to, thernpunishment of Ulrich and Lundwall wasrnfor not reporting each other’s racial misconduct.rnSomehow, even though itrnturned out not to be racial misconduct,rnthe possibility of its being “racial” wasrnenough. One is reminded of VictorrnSerge’s description of the Soviet factoryrnworker sent to the gulag for not informingrnthe authorities about “counterrevolutionaryrnespionage” (the worker hadrnoverheard someone complaining aboutrnthe low quality of raw materials the factoryrnhad received).rnNone of Mr. Bijur’s actions, not evenrnhis own grovelings on Nightline, wouldrnbe enough for our rulers, i.e., the media.rnThe lies about black church burningsrnhad fizzled out, but here was anotherrnchance to display piety and foment racialrndivision. Two black employees becamern”1,400 black employees at Texaco,” accordingrnto the major news networks,rneven though only four other black employeesrnhad joined the suit, and it hadrnnot yet been certified as a class action.rnThe words “f—king niggers,” evenrnthough they had not been said, were repeatedrncontinually on news shows in thernhope that something would explode,rnsomewhere. After “f—king niggers”rnturned out to be “St. Nicholas,” the networksrnwent after “jelly beans.” Whenrn”jelly beans” was explained by Dr.rnThomas’s diversity training symposium,rnthe old standby of “not enough AfricanrnAmericans in management positions”rnmade its appearance, and so did JessernJackson and Al Sharpton. The mediarnhad done their work. The professionalrnblack persons had arrived.rnThere began a strange ritual dance betweenrnthe corporation and the indignantrn”leaders of the African American community.”rnJesse Jackson, who once referredrnto New York City as “Hymietown,”rnwas shocked at the idea of Mr.rnUlrich “struggling with Hanukkah.” AlrnSharpton, for whom conservative blacksrnare “Oreo cookies,” was appalled by thernjelly beans. Hazel Dukes, who duringrnthe Dinkins administration managed thernamazing feat of running Off Track Bettingrnin New York at a loss, was outragedrnby the business practices at Texaco.rnThe up-to-date response to the accusationrnof “racism” is to welcome the extortionrnthat follows in its train. Mr. Bijurrnwas effusive in his gratitude: “These discussionsrnhave been a significant help tornTexaco, and I’m gratified that these leadersrnhave been able to make time to joinrnwith us.” Translation: “Why can’t theyrnblackmail someone else? I hope we canrnpay the bastards off.” But the “leaders”rnalways want more than money—theyrnwant thanks, praise, and mind control.rnFacts count for nothing. According tornTexaco, the company fired or retired 28.7rnpercent of its workforce between 1991rnand 1996. So-called “minorities,” however,rnincreased in representation in allrnemployee categories, from ordinaryrnworkers to executives. Nonetheless, Mr.rnBijur has promised “to expand our diversityrnlearning experience to include allrnemployees.” How many more middlernmanagement salaries of 50-year-oldrnwhite men would be sacrificed to pay forrnthis “learning experience”? How manyrndiversity consultants would Mr. Bijurrnhave to hire?rnQuite a few, one must imagine. Thernsuit was settled within three days, andrnthe plaintiffs snagged a cool $ 115 millionrn(which the media turned into $176 million),rnas well as an II percent pay increasernfor all black employees, effectivernJanuary I, 1997.rnKweisi Mfume of the NAACP acceptedrnthe settlement with good grace, givingrnTexaco 30 days to invent some managementrnpositions that could be filledrnby minorities. Mfume was thereuponrndubbed an “Uncle Tom Nigger” by severalrnblack talk radio hosts: “Don’t givernthem 30 days, don’t give ’em any days!rnLet ’em do it now! Let’s start sellin’ thatrnTexaco stock now!” Jesse Jackson vowedrnto continue the boycott, even thoughrnTexaco had said it would create anrnEquality and Tolerance Task Force, torn”implement diversity and sensitivity.”rn38/CHRONICLESrnrnrn