7rnDEATH HAPPENSrnOur decadent culture does its utmost to distractrnus from a stubborn reality: After we die, wernmust face a righteous God on Judgment Day. Amazingly,rnmany clergymen are accomplices to thisrncover-up.rnGo to a mod Catholic funeral: Father Fluff playsrnGod and automatically places “good ole Charlie” inrnHeaven with the angels and saints — especially ifrnCharlie was “martyred” by AIDS — and never mindrnthat everyone knows Charlie was a scoundrel andrnnever darkened the door of Father’s church.rnOr go to a “relevant” Mass: You sing a fewrnditties with Hallmark-card lyrics, dutifully clap forrnSister Silly’s liturgical dance, listen to Father Flake’srnpop-psychology rap, and, if Father hasn’t butcheredrnthe words of the liturgy too badly, you realize thatrnChrist is our Savior. But what are we saved from?rnEven though both the Bible and the Catechismrnwarn of eternal damnation, you never hear aboutrnHell in church. Apparently, nobody goes down thernBottomless Pit anymore, so it dawns on you thatrnwe’re saved from something else — probably lowrnself-esteem. Aha So that’s why Jesus bothered tornget Himself crucified! (Oh, sorry, delete “Himself.”rnSome prickly feminist might be offended.rnYou soon realize that while church is supposedrnto make you feel good about yourself, you get morernsatisfaction when you curl up in bed with the paperrnand a few hot chocolates on Sunday morning. Sornyou make your nest your church.rnThen you read that Bishop Bubbles himselfrnsays he just can’t figure out why church attendancernhas dropped dramatically.rnActually, it’s not hard to fathom: Many intelligentrnpeople find trendy churches superficial and utterlyrnirrelevant to their eternal destiny. Some becomernlapsed Catholics, and others, if they can’t find a solidrnCatholic parish, jump ship for, say, an Evangelicalrnchurch. It’s a sociological fact that churches whichrnare not “nonjudgmental” about sin, which focus onrnHeaven and Hell, are the ones that are growing.rnWe at the NEW OXFORD REVIEW, an orthodoxrnCatholic monthly magazine, articulate the CatholicrnFaith in undiluted and uncensored fashion. Werncover the full range of issues of concern to today’srnno-nonsense Catholic. If you’re bored to death byrnelevator-music Catholicism, give us a try!rn(Please allow 2 to 8 weeks for delivery of first issue)rnSPECIAL DISCOUNT RATES FOR FIRST-TIME SUBSCRIBERSrnD One-year subscription $14 (regularly $19)rnD One-year student, unemployed, or retiredrnperson’s subscription $12 (regularly $16)rnD Two-year subscription $23 (regularly $35)rnNAME (Please print or type)rnSTREET ADDRESSrnL CITY STATE ZIPrnD One-year non-U.S. subscription US$24rn(regularly $29) Payment must be drawn in U.S. DollarsrnD Sample copy $3.50rnSend coupon or letter. Make check payable tornNEW OXFORD REVIEW. Mail to:rnNEW OXFORD REVIEWrnRoom 671rn1069 Kains Ave.rnBerkeley CA 94706rnPAYMENT MUST ACCOMPANY ORDER Jrnrnrn