among Afrikaners of liberal Anglophilernideas. Maybe the reverend himself wasrnunaware of the fact that his own ethnicgrouprnwas ready to make the greatestrnconcessions.rnIndeed, a few days later the issue wasrnbrought home to me. On a visit to Senatorrnde Klerk’s house (the father ofrnWillem and Frederick), I met in the senator’srnperson the old-time, quasi-Roman,rnBoer farmer-gentleman: not a trace ofrnthe liberal persuasion found in his twornsons, products of the new, urban SouthrnAfrica. Had he lived, things may havernturned out differently.rnIt was the Reverend Willem who wasrnpolarizing white attitudes into verligtern(liberal) and verkrampte (conservative).rnNo wonder his influence was decisivernon his younger brother and the latter’srnacademic advisors. Not surprisingly,rnthe gist of our debate was lost on myrnPotchefstroom colleague. True, thernblack majority was in dire need of widesweepingrnreforms, but it was equallyrntrue that a policy of abrupt concessionsrnwould (does) end in anarchy, similar torndevelopments farther north, in Zaire,rnUganda, Nigeria. In South Africa, a wellfunctioningrnregime has chosen to surrender,rnin preference to a gradual ascensionrnof a black elite to power. The naivernenthusiasm for “power-sharing” outlinedrnin Willem de Klerk’s memoranda hasrnopened on race war and misery. Electionsrnmay merely be a fig leaf for chaos.rn—Thomas MolnarrnONLY LUCKY STRIKES and arnpitcher of Tanqueray martinis couldrnresolve the cognitive dissonances ofrnthe Clinton administration. One newspaperrnI saw on March 25 carried a storyrnabout hearings on regulating tobaccornalongside another story about Dr.rnJocelyn Elders’ opposition to banning tobaccornproducts. Since then FDA CommissionerrnDr. David Kessler has beenrnranting before Congress about the evilsrnof tobacco, insisting that tobacco is arndrug and should be treated like one.rnMeanwhile, the Whitewater affair hasrnbeen unfolding, the most alarming aspectrnof which seems the somnolent: BillrnClinton’s aw-shucks press conferencernand poker-faced twaddle about his wife’srn”moral authority.” Mr. Clinton has alsornappeared at ball games and gone onrnrecord in favor of health. Clinton is mostrndangerous when he affects the most stupidity,rna trick of Southern politiciansrnthat the national press just doesn’t get.rnAh, but what is the connection betweenrntobacco and moral authority? Thernanswer is power.rnDeeply moved by Mr. Clinton’s recentrntelevised intimacies about prayerrnand spirituality, I nevertheless noted duringrnone of my brief periods of lucidityrnthe discordance between his tone and hisrnpolicies. The one thing I keep rememberingrnis Bill Clinton’s promise to give usrna government that looks more like thernAmerican people—and I wish he had.rnThe American people, as far as I knowrnthem, not only look a lot better than thernClinton administration but also have arnrate of sexual deviancy of a mere onernpercent. The “Clintones” are peoplern(some of whom have no need of politicalrncartoonists, resembling in one case arnturkey vulture with wattles, in another arnBoston bull terrier, and so on) whose answerrnto every “problem” is—more powerrnfor the federal government.rnAnd person, do we have problems, tobaccornchief among them. Because it isrnnot against perversion but has to bernagainst something, the Clinton administrationrnis apparently against tobacco.rnOn the other hand, the Surgeon Ceneralrnfavors the legalization of drugs as wellrnas condoms for high school students, homosexualrnadoption, etc. Obviously, thernClinton administration itself is one ofrnthe biggest reasons that people needrnsmoking’s consolation. Besides, smokingrnis both traditional and modern, Americanrnand multicultural. Professor RichardrnKlein’s Cigarettes Are Sublime prettyrnmuch says it all on that score. But why isrnit that so often with the Clinton administration,rninstead of walking a mile for arnCamel, we feel that we have walked arnmile behind one? The bliss of pulmonaryrneroticism has never seemed sornattractive as when assailed by the bluernnoses and blue stockings of this government.rnJust looking at them is enough tornmake you sound off for Chesterfields.rnAnd besides, the New Puritanism, evenrnProhibitionism, comes from a sourcernthat must seem—to say the least—unlikely,rnyet whose perversity and lust forrnpower make such grotesque ingenuousnessrnand inversion necessary and evenrnpredictable.rnLiberalism as twisted Puritanism andrnas a means to power is a familiar story inrnAmerican history. How pleasant it is tornthink that women crusading againstrnalcohol helped finance the Mob, albeitrnindirectly. But perhaps a more perfectrnimage is of the confrontation at Waco,rnTexas. You may recall how tenderly AttorneyrnGeneral Janet Reno agonizedrnabout all those abused children beforernshe sent a tank after them.rnBut while we’re on the subject of temperance,rnI interrupt this message with arnfew words in praise of alcohol. There’srnnothing like the sight of Janet Reno makingrnwar on American citizens and killingrnthem on principle, or of Jocelyn Eldersrnrunning her mouth about condoms forrnchildren and the joys of sodomy, or ofrnBill Clinton getting close to God andrncloser to some bimbo, or of Hillary Clintonrntrying to look as though cattle futuresrnwouldn’t melt in her mouth, or ofrnWarren Christopher groping in his briefcasernfor a foreign policy, or of DonnarnShalala trying to look and sound normalrn—nothing, I say, that would makernanyone want to duck faster into somerndiscreet cocktail lounge for a quick one.rnLet’s face it: when the title “SurgeonrnGeneral” has come to signify somethingrnmore like “Obnoxious Moron,” thenrnthere’s much to be said for gettingrnloaded.rnAnd not only that. Since we now payrnbillions to be told what everyone used tornknow, I must have been the only personrnin the world listening 40 years ago whenrnI was instructed by every adult I knewrnthat smoking and drinking were badrnhabits that would shorten my life. Andrnsometimes I hope they have, because Irndon’t much want to live in a countryrnthat would tolerate being told such boringrntruisms by overpaid federal phonies.rnIn that sense, the noble mien of Dr. JocelynrnElders not only makes a smokefilledrnbar newly appealing but also remindsrnme that in the cemetery I will bernhanging out with a higher class of peoplernthan the political class that governs thisrnnation. I find death assurance muchrnmore comforting than life insurance.rnWhy worry about the Clintones tryingrnto take over a seventh of the economy—rnthe health care system? They’re only interestedrnin it for our own good. Singingrn”Take Me Out to the Ball Game” andrnthrowing out the first pitch. Biliary is asrnAmerican as a three-dollar bill. LyndonrnJohnson would—and did—approve ofrndecking out naked power grabs withrnboughs of holly and sentimentality andrnlies. He would have understood howrncompletely unembarrassed the Clintonesrnhave been by the rebukes of MotherrnTeresa and the Pope, as they proceedrnto lock “reproductive services” into theirrnJULY 1994/5rnrnrn