Higgledy Figaro: A Few Nights at the Operarnby Katheiine McAlpinernTerrible parable:rnLucy di Lammermoorrnmust marry Arthur butrnhungers for Ed.rnAfter a murder, arnsuperspectacularrnmad scene and suicide,rneveryone’s dead.rnAwfully coughily.rnCourtesan Valery,rnloving Alfredo butrnheeding his Pop,rndrops him, convinced of herrnunsuitability,rndies of consumption whilernsinging nonstop.rnWhorily, florally.rnCarmen the Gypsy Girlrncoyly and craftilyrntoys with Jose.rnHe, driven wild by herrninsensitivity,rnfinally stabs her, tornshouts of “0/e!”rnLewdery/prudery:rnLittle Miss Salomernyearns for Jokannan, whorncalls her ill-bred.rnSo she exhibits herrnecdysiasticalrnskills, and he finallyrnloses his head.rnChauvinist-piggery!rnLieutenant Pinkertonrnmarries poor Butterfly,rndumps her, and flees.rnButterfly kills herselfrncoloraturically,rnspilling her guts in arnglut of high C’s.rnShady commedid:rnThespian Canio,rncuckolded, reeling withrnanguish and rage,rndons the clown face for anrnimprovisationalrnstab at real homicidernright on the stage.rnMumbledy-jumbledy—rnNorma the Druidess,rnbreaking her vows for thisrnhot Roman guy,rnprays and laments through somernincomprehensiblernarias, after whichrnboth of them fry.rnOgre-y roguery:rnBaritone Scarpiarnletches for Tosca, whoserndreamboat he’s not.rnTosca does Scarp in, thenrnmelodramaticallyrnleaps from a wall afterrnMario’s shot.rnEerily, drearily,rnFliegende Hollander’srndoomed to keep sailingrnaround and around.rnThen he meets Senta, whosernultrafidelityrnbrings him redemption rightrnafter she’s drowned.rnBravo, bravissimo!rnWalther of Nurembergrnenters the songfest andrntakes the top prize.rnPlus, he wins Eva. Thoughrnunrepresentative,rnI really like this one:rnnobody dies.rnMAY 1995/29rnrnrn