While we were waiting for then”shoot” (as we show business folk callnit), Fetzer and I slipped across the streetnto grab a sandwich, accompanied by ancountry-music singer named PinkynWyoming, who was also there for anshot at glory. Pinky is a large woman,nwith a long blond wig, a pink cowboynhat, and white boots. Fetzer had purchasednhis entire wardrobe that afternoonnfor $9.00 at the Abundant LifenThrift Shop. (I liked his pointy shoesnbest.) I’d come from work, so I wasnrelatively staid in khakis and boots,nalthough I was wearing an orange capnthat said “Elvis — Memphis LovesnYou,” with a picture of the King innprofile.n”Are y’all in a play?” asked the StatenU. student working the counter.n”Whaddaya mean, ‘play’?” Fetzerndemanded. “Somethin’ funny aboutnthe way I look?”nThe poor kid apologized.n”Didja ask them Hell’s Angels ifnthey was in a play?” Fetzer grumbled,nas he walked off with his sandwich.nThe kid watched us warily, all thenway out.nBack across the street, Billy introducednus to his costar. Diamond Lil,nthree feet of dynamite with a blondnMohawk haircut, and to her friend andnmentor, the Fabulous Moolah. Moolahn(whose real name is Lillian) is a personable,n50-ish blonde who was fornmany years World Champion and nownruns a school for lady wrestlers innColumbia, South Carolina. We chattednfor a while, then went inside wherena makeshift ring had been set up.nThe Los Angeles film crew, about andozen of them, were making mysteriousnchalk marks on the floor andnmoving lights and cameras around,nlooking professionally blase and readynto get back to the Sir Walter Inn and anfew lines of coke or something. Thenscene they were filming that night wasnthe wrestling match at which the singer,nBilly, first spies his lady-love, then”Teenie Weenie Meanie,” played bynDiamond Lil. (The love scenes werenfilmed the next day at a trailer park innApex, North Carolina. I had to be atnwork, alas.) My brief moment in thenspotlight came when the Reverend andnthe motorcycle guys and their womennand a baby named—well, it soundednlike “Redemption” and maybe it wasn— when these folk and Fetzer andnPinky and I and assorted othernhangers-on watched Moolah and Lilngo through some choreographed wrestlingnmoves while we hollered “Killnher! Kill her!” and waved empty beerncups around.nLook for it on MTV. I’m the one innthe orange Elvis cap, next to the baby.nI almost hate to say it, but there’s ansense in which that’s what the South isnall about in 1989. Whatever else it maynbe, it’s not boring.n]ohn Shelton Reed writes from ChapelnHill, North Carolina, and willnbe holding auditions soon fornhis entourage.nLetter From thenHeartlandnby fane GreernThe God BiznFor some reason (perhaps God knowsnwhy) I recently started receiving packetsnof postcard advertisements from MedianManagement’s Ministry: Values fornGrowing Churches. “Dear Pastor,”nthe top card began.nI read that an identical packet hadnbeen sent to two hundred fifty thousandnother “pastors,” along with a cardnfrom Media Management saying,n”building? teaching? preaching? counseling?nWe can help. Just fill-out thisncoupon and mail it today. We’ll sendnour new, jumbo package. MinistrynResources. No cost. No obligation. Nonone will call.” No kidding.nDid you know that enterprising pastorsnand priests don’t write their ownnsermons? They rely on Pulpit Digest,nPulpit Resource (“non-doctrinal — letsnyou provide your own emphasis”).nLeadership, The Clergy Journal, SermonsnIllustrated (“Packed with heartwarming,nthought-provoking, humorousnstories”). The Pastor’s ProfessionalnResearch Service, Sunday Sermons, ornThe Preacher’s Illustration Servicen(“Power-packed illustrations, anecdotes,nstories, humor!”).nFor those who have trouble with notnonly sermons but the entire worshipnservice, there’s “Worship Celebration,”n”an innovative, new concept fornnnthe Worship Service. Words of some ofnthe most widely used worship chorusesnappear on full color slides with picturesquenphotography as a backdrop.nGives the local congregation and visitorsnaccess to the words of the chorusesnyou sing; eliminates the inconveniencenand distraction of songbooks and freesnthe hands of the congregation so theyncan focus their energies on participatingnin the congregational worship; visuallynencouraging the congregation tonpraise the Lord; relieves the localnchurch of obtaining copyright permissions.”nOr ministers can attend a “National.nLeadership Conference tonStrengthen Their Church ThroughnCreative Worship” and “Learn how tonprovide a worship/celebration experiencenthat speaks to today’s Christians,nand reaches those who have written offnthe church as boring or irrelevant.”nThere’s help for church newsletters,ntoo. Did you know that “It’s a wholenlot easier to get their attention whennyou put funny and tasteful cartoons innyour bulletins, newsletters, announcements,nsigns, and visuals”? Well, “Humornwill do it for you or your moneynback.” Also, did you ever realize thatn”If you stopped to read this cartoon,nthe readers of your church newsletternwill, too” (60 cartoons for $17.95)?nYou can “Save 1/3 and make yournpublications fabulous — one ministrynnewsletter we produce is so popular wenget complaints if it is one day late in thenmail. You will serve your membersnmuch better and be a lot happier whennthey think your stuff is great.”nI was transfixed by cards for “RelocatablenChurch Buildings . . . WithnPermanent Comfort & Quality,” fiberglassnsteeples and baptistries, a “ChristiannResources Exhibition” in Washington,nDC (“Christian heritage andnlocal area tours—all Christian denominationsn[including tens and twenties]nwelcome”), the “ClergyCard” (IfnYou Don’t Have This Card . . .nYou’re Losing Money!”), “ChurchnVisibility Pins,” sample raffle tickets, anfree booklet explaining “Why YournChurch Might Be Sued,” disposable,ncommunion cups, and church signsn(“Our sign paid for itself in 3nSundays” — talk about your miracles!).nThere was an invitation to “Sell parttimen. . . make full-time income! Earnn$25,000 a year and more in your sparentime! No Investment — No Experi-nJULY 1989/37n