46 / CHRONICLESnrelics arrived in the Hermitage . . .nwhether from aristocrats who stayed onnand changed their ways, or fromnmountains of the officially confiscatednand the privately looted,” yet in thenend, perhaps wearied by the unpleasantnrealization that the distinction betweennthe two was more blurred thannhe as a decent Englishman couldnallow himself to suppose, he concludednthat it was:ntouching as well as paradoxicalnto see how immaculately theynare cared for by the children ofna regime which must bendiametrically opposed to allnthat they stand for.nThe children of the regime, I amncertain, took careful note of Mr. Taylor’snprobing, suggestive, cooing “mustnbe.” Opposed? Well, yes, perhaps anwee bit opposed, but certainly notndiametrically!nAlas, the conquest of Europe meansnEngland, Barbican Centre and all.nThe thought of the Duchess of Yorknshot in a cellar, perhaps in a remotenSussex village (I wonder if this islandnhas an equivalent of Ekaterinburg), isnsad, but not as sad as the thought ofnseeing that ingenious blue and blackncostume of hers displayed at the StatenMuseum of Ethnography of the Peoplesnof the USSR under a lendingnarrangement with the State HermitagenExpert Purchasing Commission. Contrarynto Western perceptions, in additionnto nuclear superiority, those childrennof the regime have a sense ofnhumor.nAndrei TSavrozov is poetry editor ofnChronicles.nLetter From thenHeartlandnby Jane GreernJust One More Drink of WaternA recent Time article reported an astonishingnnew find. Researchers at thenMonell Chemical Senses Center andnthe University of Pennsylvania Schoolnof Medicine have discovered that mennare good for women.nActually, there’s more to it thannthat—what they really found out, ornthink they found out, is that regularnrelations and, more specifically, malenbody odors have a healthful cfiFect onnfertility, menstrual cycles, andnmenopause — most revolutionarynnews.nThe mysterious link between mennand women has been explored forneight years by Winnifred Cutier, anbiologist and specialist in behavioralnendocrinology. At first, years ago.nCutler found that having sexual intercoursenat least once a week, with anman, was important for a woman’snreproductive health. After her latestnstudy, it appears that what’s almostn(but not quite) as good as sex is whatnCutler calls the “male essence,” subtlensex aromas known as pheromones.nMen and women exude pheromones,nand one pheromone can smellnanother as if it had fallen into a vat ofnEvening in Paris. Scientists havenknown for long that pheromones affectnphysiological behavior. Women’s cyclesnin convents and college dormitoriesn(on old-fashioned campuses) andnbetween roommates who spend littientime with other people, tend to runnsynchronously. And now Cutler hasnshown that, contrary to public opinion,nthe most important part of anman’s body, for women, at least, liesnunder his arms.nIn her experiment, seven men andnwomen wore underarm pads for 18 ton27 hours a week over a three-monthnperiod. Then “soups” of “aromaticnessences,” one from the women’s armpitsnand one from the men’s, werencooked up. When the “essence” ofnmen (eat your heart out. Bill Blass!)nwas mixed with alcohol and applied tonthe upper lips of sex women withnabnormal cycles, who weren’t at thentim’e, um, dating anyone, their cyclesnsped or slowed toward a 29.5 daynaverage. (B.O.-uillon distilled fromnwomen’s sweat tended to make thencycles of female volunteers synchronizenwith each other.)nGranted, these results may not bencomplete or conclusive. Cutier, fornobvious reasons, had few volunteers,nand many questions come to mind.nFor example, was the same underarmnpad worn by each sweat donor for allnthree months? If so, what was thenempirical effect on their sex lives? Andnif male sweat determines female fertili­nnnty, which explains the large families ofnfarmers and coal miners and steelnworkers, where do the Kennedys fit in?nAs for the guinea pigs, my ownnfeeling is that a woman who wouldnconsent to have armpit soup dabbedndaily on her upper lip is irregular innmore ways than one.nWhat’s really interesting, though, isnCutler’s recommendation to womennwho have what men like to call “femalenproblems.” The simplest solution,nyou’d think, would be for men tonjust stop wearing deodorant (which,nunlike soap, serves no hygienic purpose)nin the workplace and in elevators,nthus making women healthier, ifnnot happier. Or—my preference (butnperhaps this is too revolutionary)—shencould have simply told women to findna terrific guy and marry him.nCutler, however, is nothing if notnattuned to the mind-set of the 80’s.nShe says, “My dream is that manufacturednmale essence, in creams, sprays,nor perfumes, can dramatically alter thenwell-being of women.” To this end wenand the Japanese are engaged in a madnrace for research and marketing rights,nand Cutier’s partner predicts that innthree to five years women may be ablento treat themselves to a therapeuticnbottie of artificial male sweat. Whonsays money can’t buy happiness?nAll of this reminded me of something,nand it took me a while to figurenit out. When our young son wants tonavoid going to bed, his imaginationnand energy are boundless. He hides.nHe tries to distract us by pointing out,nnoisily, in sudden astonishment, thenextraordinary details of a book or toynhe hasn’t touched in months. He giggles,nhe pouts, he roots his feet to thenfloor or ricochets off the walls, makingnthe 20-foot trip to bed 100 miles long.nAnd it’s all done with a kind of sadndesperation because, bone-tired, henknows what’s inevitable. Like all sixyear-olds,nhe finds Mother Nature anpain in the neck; the only rules he likesnare the ones he invents himselfnMost people, by the time they reachnadulthood, have learned to lie backnand enjoy it.n]ane Greer, married to a terrific guy,nedits Plains Poetry Journal and is authornof Bathsheba on the Third Dayn(The Cummington Press).n