not ready to forgive old Jane her trip tonHanoi. The catalog of D&G, a Columbus,nGeorgia, dealer in “militaria,”noffers bumper stickers that read “BoycottnJane Fonda, American TraitornBitch” and — I’m sorry, folks, but thisnwas America in 1989 —somethingncalled “Hanoi Jane urinal targets.”nReminds me of the Mapplethorpe exhibit.nHere in Chapel Hill, home of vasectomizednbeavers, another blow wasnstruck against speciesism late last yearnwhen buffalo-rights advocates, callingnBuffalo Bill a “butcher,” got a sculpturenof his head and those of threenbuffalo removed from the lobby of thenpost office. The work had been lent byna local sculptor in connection with thenissue of a new 15-cent buffalo stamp.nHad the artist been receiving federalnfunds, perhaps someone would havenspoken out for her First Amendmentnrights.nI hope you don’t get the impression,nincidentally, that Chapel Hill trendinistasnare the only Southerners who carenabout animal rights. I mean, you can’tntop the undated clipping from thenJackson Clarion-Ledger that recentlynISnTHE ROCKFORD INSTITUTEnIN YOUR WILL?nPerhaps a better question is:nDo you have a current will?nIf not, the laws of your particularnstate will determine what is to bendone with your estate upon yourndeath. What’s more, federal estatentaxes, unless there is proper planning,ncan claim up to 55% ofnyour property. If you would Ukento discuss elements of your estatenplanning, please write or call:nMICHAEL WARDERnLEGACY PROGRAMnTHE ROCKFORD INSTITUTEn934 N. MAIN STREETnROCKFORD, IL 61103n(815) 964-5811n42/CHRONICLESntrickled in, headlined “Insult to DognLinked to Slaying.” That’s concern. Itnseems that Mr. Jerry Wade, 28, ofnCalhoun City, Mississippi, made rudenremarks about a dog belonging to Mr.nDavid Powell of Derma — specifically.nWade said he “could get a [expletivendeleted] off the street to whupn[Powell’s] dog” — whereupon Mr.nPowell shot Mr. Wade once (but thatnwas enough) with a .38 he happened tonbe carrying.nAnd lower down the evolutionarynscale, in Matthews, North Carolina —nno, let me start that over. In Matthews,nNorth Carolina, crustacean rights werenvindicated when a man who had paidn$270 for a 21.4-pound Maine lobster,nestimated to be 147 years old, freednthe critter. When television coveragenevoked a flood of phone calls asking fornclemency, the buyer (according to thenAP) reportedly said “Oh, to heck withnit.” “Lobzilla,” as the Large One hadncome to be called, was shipped back tonMaine at the expense of a Washington-basednanimal-rights group, there tonenjoy his old age back in the deep.nReturning to the civil liberties ofnputatively human beings, the InvisiblenEmpire Knights of the Ku Klux Klannmay be taking the North CarolinanDepartment of Transportation toncourt. North Carolina has what isncalled the Adopt-a-Highway program:nif your club or company agrees to cleannup litter from a stretch of roadside, ansign goes up attesting to your publicnspirit. More than 4,500 groups nownclean up about 10,000 miles of road,nbut the Department of Transportationndrew the line when the KKK applied.nOne reason the Knights were notnallowed to be points of’light,’itwas said,nwas that people would deliberatelynthrow trash on the highway to makenwork for them. (As far as I know, nonone suggested that the Invisible Empirencould have an invisible sign.) Tonshow the kluxers that there was nothingnpersonal about its decision, thentransportation department also turnedndown applications from a Chapel Hillnrock band called the Sex Police and anRaleigh lingerie shop called the BranPatch. (Maybe the pun only works ifnyou have a Southern accent.) Anyway,nstay tuned. As I said, this one’s probablynheaded for the courts.nSpeaking of things that shouldn’tnburden our legal system, an associatennnprofessor of education at the universitynwhere I teach surveyed female graduatenstudents on their experience withn”sexual harassment” and found whatnshe interpreted as appalling levels ofnignorance. According to the newspapernaccount of her findings, fewer thann3 percent of these women thoughtnthey had been sexually harassed, evennthough 30 percent had been “subjectednto suggestive stories told in theirnpresence” and 26 percent had heardn”sexist remarks regarding either theirnbehavior or their career options.” Apparentlynthese women simply didn’tnrealize that this stuff is sexual harassment,nnot just boorish, ill-bred behavior.nFor that matter, neither did I.nNor did residents of a women’sndormitory at Western Kentucky University,nit seems. Male students offerednthem a “tuck-in” service that includednmilk and cookies and a bedtime storyn— in fact, a choice of stories, traditionalnor “hot” (clipped from PenthousenForum)—T^nd what do you think theynchose? Yep, every single one.nMeanwhile, back in Chapel Hill,nthe “Lewis Streak,” in which youngnmen from Lewis dormitory once a yearnstrut their stuff for the residents ofnseveral nearby women’s dorms, camenunder fire. According to the Daily TarnHeel, “University officials fear it underminesnefforts to stop date rape andnsexual harassment on campus.” Thendean of students was quoted as sayingnthis particular act of self-expression “isnno longer acceptable in this campusncommunity,” and that it presentsn”much potential for personal injury asnwell as for the infliction of emotionalndistress.”nOK, guys; here’s my plan. You takenphotographs, see, and blow them up tonlife size. Then you, like, carry themnpast the dorms, and if anybody objects,nit’s art.nBy the way, I apologize for callingnthe staff of Southern Exposure “a sombernband of aging New Leftists.” I amnreliably informed that the magazine isnnow staffed by a somber band of juvenilenNew Leftists.nJohn Shelton Reed writes from ChapelnHill, North Carolina, and has had itnup to here with whining artists.n