VITAL SIGNSrnReal Men’s Studiesrnby E. Christian KopffrnThe negative critique of Americanrneducation has grown from a mererntrickle back when Albert Jay Nock deliveredrnhis lectures on Theory of Educationrnin the United States at the University ofrnVirginia in 1931 into a roaring flashrnflood. When the sound and fury of thernvarious Jeremiahs of American educationrnhave ceased echoing in the halls ofrnthe nation’s high schools and universities,rnwe look around and see that littlernhas changed—and that mainly for thernworse. Rudolf Flesch tried to explain arngeneration ago Why johnny Can t Read.rnWhen Beavis recently commented, “Irnhate videos with words in them,” hisrncomrade Butt-head assented, “Yeah. If Irnwanted to read, I’d go to school.” E’ benrntrovato, ma non e vero. Between videos,rnmo’ies, computer games, rap sessions,rnand the use of Uncaptioned Visual Cuesrnto supplement Oral-Aural methodologies,rnlittle reading takes place in the nation’srnschools. As French intellectualrnRegis Debray has explained in severalrn(ironically) best-selling books, we havernmoved from the Logosphcre to thernVidcosphere. We know the officers werernguilty, not because we listened to evidencernand arguments and read and ponderedrnthem, but because we saw therntapes. What classicist Eric Havelockrncalled “The Literate Revolution” hasrnbeen overturned. We have moved fromrnthe Civilization of Writing back to anrnoral culture.rnOne reason for the failure of traditionalistrnlaments to stop the forces ofrnchange is their purely negative character.rnWhat is needed is a positive response tornthe contemporary American universityrnand its glitzy supermarket of alternativesrnand electives. A few years ago an associaterndean noted to his curriculum committeernthat not only were there Women’srnStudies programs and departmentsrngalore in the American Megaversity, butrnmore and more schools were introducingrnMen’s Studies. One gloomy facultyrnmember muttered in response that hernwould vote in favor of them, as long asrnthey were Real Men’s Studies. The administratorrnsnorted in contempt, and wernreturned to our business of approving arnnew course on Lesbian Literature of thernBlack Renaissance. Not content to issuernfutile ukases like an academic KingrnCanute against the rising tide of innovativernnew programs, I am presenting myrntentative curriculum for a Real Men’srnmajor.rnRMS 1001. Introduction to RealrnMen’s Studies: Role Models and Wimpsrnin American Cinema (cross-listed withrnFilm Studies 1001). An introduction tornthe role of real men in contemporaryrnAmerican culture through an in-depthrnstudy of selected films starring JohnrnWayne, Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone,rnand Chuck Norris. Reports by studentsrnon how viewing these filmsrnchanged their self-image.rnRMS 1005. Real Men and Musicrn(cross-listed with Music 1005). A surveyrnof the history of Western music.rnRMS 2001. Real Men and Sportsrn(cross-listed with Kinesiology 2001).rnClass will concentrate on salary differentialsrnbetween men’s and women’srnsports, beginning with tennis. Class reportsrnon why the Sports section is thernonly accurate part of the newspaperrnand what this means for the Wall Streetrnjournal.rnRMS 2345. Real Men’s Humorrn(cross-listed with Creative Writingrn2345). Oppressed minorities fight backrnwith humor. As the latest addition tornthe world of the oppressed, Real Menrnhave not yet developed their own distinctive,rnself-deprecating humor. Thisrncourse will develop Real Men’s creativityrnin this direction. Class begins withrnjokes modeled on the famous “Howrnmany does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”rnroutine. Examples: How manyrnreal men does it take to invent a lightrnbulb? One. Thomas Alva Edison. Howrnmany real men does it take to paint thernceiling of the Sistine Chapel? One.rnMichelangelo Buonarroti. Oral reportsrnand written analyses of ethnic and realrnmen’s humor.rnRMS 3001. Theory of Patriarchyrn(cross-listed with Philosophy 3001). Selectedrnreadings with discussion and oralrnand written reports on selected masterpiecesrnof Real Men’s literature and philosophy,rnincluding Cenesis 1-3, St. Paul,rnJohn Knox, Robert Filmer, James FitzjamesrnStephen, Steven Coldberg, andrnThomas Fleming.rnRMS 3470. Women and AncientrnMathematics (cross-listed with Biologyrn3470). A presentation of the genetic basisrnfor women’s contributions to ancientrnmathematics, compared and contrastedrnwith the word of Eudoxus, Theactetus,rnArchimedes, and Euclid. Creative papersrnon what those two women were doingrnin Plato’s Academy.rnRMS 3510/3520. Junior Seminar:rnTopics in Real Men’s Studies. Fall:rnPolygamy. Study of the history, philosophy,rnand social function of a widespreadrnand important social custom. Spring:rnThe Hunting Hypothesis. Study of thernrole of hunting in the development of religion,rnsex roles, and higher civilization.rnRMS 4510/4520. Senior Seminar:rnPraeticum in Real Men’s Studies. Fall:rnThe Defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment.rnA praeticum on the use of publicrnopinion and grass-roots politics to preservernand protect the role of Real Menrnin contemporary society. Spring: RealrnMen’s Civil Rights: A Study of the Historyrnand Theory of the Second Amendment.rnReadings and reports on Livy,rnMachiavelli, and the Virginia Bill ofrnRights. Mandatory shooting practicerntwice a week.rnThe science requirement is 16 hoursrnof lab sciences or mathematics. (Therernis no social science requirement.) ThernFEBRUARY 1994/43rnrnrn