from Letitia Baldridge to BUI Blass,nfrom Joyce Brothers to Alan Aldanand Johnny Carson, therebynachieving a perfect democracynof minds. The advice of the firstngroup has been many times recorded;nthat of the second isnbleated frequently from Peoplenand New York magazine, andnothers of their ilk. So why stillnanother tome on the subject?nOne of the advice-givers innGood Advice is Helen GurleynBrown (listed twice, undern”Relationships (Man/Woman)”nand “Sex”), who now offers hernown advice book. Having It All.nMrs. Brown is the editor oi Cosmopolitan,na monthly publicationnthat further delineates hownto arrange one’s life in keepingnwith the platitudes of fashion.nShe seems to combine the characteristicsnof a hard worker, angold digger, and an enthusiasticnproponent of random mating.nMrs. Brown calls this sort of personna “mouseburger” and hasnaimed her advice at all the littlenmouseburgers out there pantingnto make it big just like she did.nFor the uninitiated, a mouseburgern(according to the author) is:nsmart, sensitive, intuitive, modest,nenvious, selfish, has “a sweetnnatural sex drive.,” is eccentric,nambitious, uncasual, and onenwho “wants it all and is ‘willingnto pay the price.'” Mrs. Brown’sn321nChronicles of Culturencomments on currently commendablenwork ethics are: “Do morenthan your share in that job. Study.nInch along… Success is the dayto-dayngoodness you keep turningnin As for not sleeping withnthe boss, why discriminate againstnhim? It’s like sleeping with anybodynelse…”nAccording to the guru ofnmouseburgers, there are fivenperfectly legitimate kinds of sex:nmagic sex; intimate, comfortablensex; friendly sex; casual sex; andnscruffy sex. Included in her informationnare such topics as:n”Help for the Non-Orgasmic,”n”To Fake or Not to Fake,” “NevernUnderestimate C Power,”n”How to Cro Down on a Man.”nPredictably, she comes outnsquarely in favor of extramaritalnaffairs, one-night stands, masturbation,nand promiscuity. Hers isna time-honored subethical principle:nif it feels good, do it. However,nif there’s anything in it fornyou, do it even if it doesn’t feelngood. In other times, the samenapproach to life and oneself wasncalled whoredom.nHelen Gurley Brown uses hernbooks and her magazine to promotenher values. She herself is ansuccess story. She has it all. Hownpitillil that her all is so little andnso malodorous. No amount ofnperfume advertised in Cosmopolitanncan mask the stench.nTin SoldiersnWilliam Wharton: A MidnightnClear; Alfred A. Knopf; New York.nby Mark G. MichaelsennWhen William Wharton burstnon the literary scene in 1979nwith his debut novel Birdy,nenlightened critics babbled theirnapproval. Nominated for thenPulitzer Prize, this book recountednthe labors of a young man sufferingnfrom delusions of birdhoodnand his unrequited bestialnlove for his pet canary. An unnoteworthynsecond novel followed.nWharton’s latest novel isnrife with allusions to All Quietnon the Western Front; idealisticnbabes in arms revenge themselvesnupon a tyrannical drill instructor,nface the horrors of war, andnponder their roles as pawns in anglobal chess game. However, thenconnections in A Midnight Clearnare painfiil, not praiseworthy, asnthey emphasize the deficienciesnof Wharton’s work. There are,nhowever, some creative ideas innthe book, though they are hiddennamong the jangle of improbablenaction and implausiblendialogue.nThe plot is as follows. Late innWorld War II a German reconnaissancensquad, weary of sixnyears of combat on two fronts,ndecides to surrender to theirnAmerican counterparts rathernthan risk death in battle or,nworse, capture by the Soviets.nSurrender is not so easy, though;nthe Wehrmacht is girding for anmajor counterthrust and the patrol’sndisappearance will not gonMr. Michaelsen is special assistantnfor corporate affairs atnHillsdale College.nnnWASTE OF MONEYnunnoticed. The American patrolnmay not be able to escort themnsafely to the rear. This couldnhave become an exciting, engagingnwartime novel. Wharton insteadnhas burdened it with sonmuch psychological baggagenthat it collapses under the load.nLed by 19-year-old SergeantnWill Knott (Whartonesquenhumor), the five-man team ofnyoung American soldiers is preoccupiednwith bridge, theologicalnsophism, and wry banter. Sonmuch effort is spent sketchingnthe personalities of the unit thatnwhat litde excitement the book’snaction might provide is lost.nRather than dispatch an emissarynunder a truce flag, the Germansnsignal their intentions throughnsubtler means: whispering greetingsnin the night, building scarecrowsnridiculing Hitler, and finallynpresenting the Americans with ansmall Christmas tree hung withncandles, paper stars, and fl^it. Annelaborate scheme for their surrendernafter a phony firefight isnarranged but lirustrated becausenone American is not told thenplan for reasons too absurd to relate.nIt would all be tragic, asnWharton intended, if it weren’tnso bad.nYoung warriors wizen quicklynamid carnage in Remarque’s epicnwork. Wharton’s charactersnnever grow up; war is a merensideshow to their psychologicalncircus. Like Remarque’s, Wharton’sncharacters question thenmorality of their cause. A MidnightnCleat’s message—^that warncould be avoided if idealisticnyouth, not statesmen, ran thenworld—rings rather hollownagainst the setting of a warnagainst tyranny. Dn