401 CHRONICLESnDealhead of the Century by Janet Scott Barlown”Hey, if you hit the ball right, it goes. What can Intell you.”n— Lenny Dykstra, author and New York Mets outfieldernTrump: The Art of the Deal bynDonald J. Trump with TonynSchwartz, New York: RandomnHouse; $19.95.nSix years ago my husband addednaction to an idea and started hisnown business. Today his company hasn130 employees and $13 million in sales.nAt 13 million, we are not exactly swimmingnwith the big fish of Americannbusiness. Nevertheless, the past six yearsnhave been, to drastically understate it,nan education. Ours has been a deepnimmersion into a small pond—one justnlarge enough to include its share ofnventure capitalists, tax lawyers, trademarknattorneys, bankers, accountants,nand corporate big shots.nWe have also encountered two businessnspecies I never before knew existed,nwhat 1 have come to call the sniffersnand the dealheads. Sniffers are peoplenwho loudly and confidently predict annew venture’s quick collapse, and then,nwhen proved wrong, come pokingnaround — sniffing — for a cut, an angle,nor a job. Dealheads are sniffers on a bignscale, more highly evolved and thereforenharder to ignore. Dealheads do notnhave professions, careers, or even realnjobs. They don’t sell a product ornprovide a service. Dealheads just c/ea/,nsubstituting “connections” for creativity,nand “street-smarts” for expertise.nThey are habitual name-droppers, totalnsuckers for the trappings of “class,”nand forever hopeful of a big deal withnJack Nicklaus, having once met “Jack”non an elevator. While they often ignorenethical considerations, dealheadsndo not operate illegally; and there isnsomething very American in their outlook:ndo it fast, hit it big, find thenshortcut.nLegal questions and national characternaside, I have come to loathen]anet Scott Barlow covers popularnculture from her home in Cincinnati,nOhio.ndealheads, because their shortcut tondoing it fast and hitting it big runs, bynnecessity and instinct, straight throughnsomeone else’s accomplishment. Thenessence of every dealhead’s deal isnalways this: “I will take the fruit of yournefforts, risk it on a deal, make a fixedncut for myself upfront (hey, I’m thendealer) and more on the backend if thendeal succeeds. As for you, you willneither make an unspecified return ornlose your shirt. And on the off chancenthat you don’t like that deal, I amnprepared to offer you my services as annindependent consultant for a ridiculouslynlarge fee.”nThe main thing to know aboutndealheads is that they should never,nunder any circumstances, be encouraged.nWhich is why the publication ofnreal estate developer Donald Trump’snbusiness autobiography. Trump: ThenArt of the Deal, is such a depressingnevent. While not a pure dealheadnhimself (there are occasions when henappears to operate with his own cash).nTrump nonetheless has produced thenultimate dealhead handbook, andnevery crummy little dealhead in thencountry is going to be invigorated,nmotivated, inspired by it. The resultsnwill not be pretty.nIn the past, dealheads (and certainnnnvarieties of salesmen and managers)nsought their professional inspiration innthe distilled philosophies of sports figures,nusually football coaches, notablynVince Lombardi. But that began tonchange with the cultural emergence ofnthe corporate leader as folk hero—annimage which peaked, seemingly, withnthe publication of Lee lacocca’s blusteringnautobiography. Vince Lombardincould finally rest in peace; dealheadsnhad found one of their own to emulate.nOn office walls around the country,nframed copies of “Winning isn’tneverything. It’s the only thing” werenreplaced with framed lacoccaisms (mynpersonal favorite being “In order to hitnthe duck, you have to move yourngun”).nNow here comes Donald Trumpnwith a whole new batch of slogans,neasily memorized and suitable fornframing. There are the Basic Attitudenslogans: “You do your thing, you holdnyour ground, you stand up tall, andnwhatever happens, happens.” Therenare the General Perspective slogans: “Intry to learn from the past, but I plan fornthe future by focusing exclusively onnthe present.” Looking for somethingnsuccinct and punchy? (Have a smallernframe?) “Leverage: don’t make dealsnwithout it.”nStill, the sports connection lingers,nfor Trump: The Art of the Deal readsnlike the as-told-to life story of an outfieldernfor the New York Mets. That is.n