RU-486 is, by now, probably neatly stacked on pharmacy shelves across the fruited plain, right next to the Raid and Ritalin, ready for every woman who needs a quick “final solution,” with or without parental consent—or that of us knuckle-dragging sperm donors.

It’s legal now, and, of course, that means it’s ethical, too. Not like what that other guy in Germany had in mind . . . well, you know. Hey, if doctors prescribe what Pat Buchanan calls a “human pesticide,” it must be all right . . . right? That’s our federal government at work, folks. You know, the same one that gave us Prohibition, public schools, income taxes, and Waco. Actually, this wonder drug, chemically known as Mifepristone and marketed as the “morning-after” pill, has been around for decades before it was finally introduced to American lab rats. Sanctioned by Planned Parenthood and endorsed by the National Organization for Women, Mifeprex (the most common brand) is as popular in Europe as Viagra is in America, and it probably will be blessed by the next Pope, whoever she happens to be. And now it appears that RU-486 will soon be manufactured in China, a country that already has a track record when it comes to tainted drugs, campaign financing, and population control.

The French invented this stuff, picking up where the Germans left off, and with equal efficiency. Sometimes history is funny that way. Perhaps they’re just trying to get even with us for giving them the Big Mac. Coincidentally, RU-486 was approved by the FDA the same day Pierre Trudeau died.

Naturally, feminists still have much work to do, including collecting enough tax dollars from Christian pro-lifers to make sure that all women, especially those who can’t afford it and don’t know any better, have access to this deadly product. Who wants more of them around anyway? Too bad the little parasites won’t live long enough to sue the pharmaceutical companies for peddling their poison; or better yet, their own mothers, who were stupid enough not to heed the admonition: WARNING! This product kills when used as intended. There will be warning labels, won’t there?

The times have changed, and that’s precisely what the feminists are counting on. To them, RU-486 is not unlike modern warfare. The lines are blurred; there are no moral absolutes, only varying shades of gray. There is no need for soldiers in this battle, which will be fought with smart bombs and antiseptics. There will be no surgery, no mess to clean up, no dead bodies broadcast every night on CNN from halfway around the world; no babies being dissected inside the womb or murdered moments after taking their first breath; no guilt, no Normandy, no napalm. And no blood and pain. The silent scream will be easily drowned out by the voices of Madeleine Albright and Patricia Ireland lecturing us on global responsibility, ethnic cleansing, population control, and human rights. The only sights we’ll see are those filtered through the political lens of the New World Order.

How easy it was for Bill Clinton to bomb innocent civilians in Serbia and to devastate all those warlords hiding out in aspirin factories and milk plants in Ethiopia and Sudan! It was a cinch, especially from 30,000 feet: quick, clean, and legal. Make it simple enough, and killing’s a snap. Stealth, slick marketing, and good timing make it easy to swallow, just like . . . a pill. Abortions are no different. But contrary to Bill Clinton’s perverted logic, it doesn’t make them any rarer, just more convenient. Unborn babies were better off in the days of back-alley abortions than in the new era of instant infanticide.

“What we’re dealing with here are little more than fertilized eggs,” as one lovely young feminist who actually witnessed an abortion, albeit performed the old-fashioned way, so eloquently put it. “A mere piece of rice in a spoonful of blood,” she continued, one romantic evening over a dinner comprising very much the same ingredients. Never mind that at one time she looked no better, and was probably more alive—physically as well as spiritually. Who needs concentration camps when we have government- run HMOs? Where will all the pro-lifers go to picket when the clinic is right down the block at their local Wal-Mart? And who in his right mind is going to shoot his friendly pharmacist for pushing the finest weapon in the arsenal against life since Hitler’s death factories?