Item 1: According to U.S. News, a survey found less than 8 percent of America’s “major” universities required English majors to take a Shakespeare course. He’s a DWM (Dead White Male) and all. Given how P.C. those courses are, that’s a blessing. It also allows me to use a line of Moe Howard from one of the Three Stooges’ spoofs of Renaissance times. To such lack-Shakespeare graduates, I say, “Thou art a dumb cluck.”

Item 2: I just found out the pro-Selbstmord Hemlock Society changed its name to Compassion & Choices. The name Hemlock had a connection to another DWM, Socrates, whom few moderns know about. Besides, in Phaedo, Socrates makes a strong case against suicide – unless the Polis orders it, as it did in his case. I guess a modern equivalent might be if an ObamaCare death panels orders your extinction, you should be happy about it.

As to the new name, Compassion & Choices, who could be against compassion and choice? Especially when the government compassionately chooses to deep-six you.

Item 3: Speaking in New York, Hillary Clinton, the former Secretary of State and co-president, said, “Far too many women are denied access to reproductive health care and safe childbirth, and laws don’t count for much if they’re not enforced. Rights have to exist in practice — not just on paper. Laws have to be backed up with resources and political will. And deep-seated cultural codes, religious beliefs and structural biases have to be changed.” She mentioned not just America, but the world.

If elected, we can expect Madam Clinton will insist Prof. Dr. Garry Wills, Ph.D., (almost) S.J., be made the next pontiff. Or perhaps, like Napoleon, she will crown herself.

Item 4: If a foreign military ship invades your country, your navy is supposed to sink it, or seize it if it surrenders. The crew then is captured, or killed if it resists. Surviving crew then are imprisoned, or sent home in a prisoner exchange or amnesty. Civilians are treated well, then immediately repatriated. The ship is either sunk in battle or captured. If captured, the ship is: a) kept as your own military ship; b) sold to private owners; or c) scuttled. Why isn’t this being done with the illegals invading Italy and the rest of Europe?

Item 5: President Obama’s unconstitutional drone strikes – making himself a high-tech Zeus instead of a president bound by the Constitution – “accidentally” killed two hostages, Warren Weinstein, an American, and Italian national Giovanni Lo Porto. Zeus took “full responsibility,” meaning he didn’t take any responsibility. The Constitution lets only Congress declare war; the last time it did so was World War II.

CNN reported, “The White House also disclosed Thursday that . . . Ahmed Farouq, who was an American citizen and deputy emir of al Qaeda in the Indian Subcontinent, was also killed in the operation that killed the two innocent hostages.” It’s actually illegal for even the President to kill an American citizen, even in a foreign country, without a trial and conviction. But he’s Zeus. The home Zeus’s next drone obliterates may be your own.