For two years, I’ve been saying that Michelle Obama wasn’t going to run for president. After her appearance on Tuesday at the Democrat National Convention, I feel vindicated. Polls consistently have shown that Michelle is a more popular national figure than Donald Trump, causing many conservatives to turn her into some kind of omnipotent bogeyman. They have feared her more than any other single candidate in the 2024 election. Without ever holding office or going through the primary process (which, to be fair, Democrats have decided they no longer need), Michelle could simply announce she’s running for president and be coronated.

But as her speech last night to the DNC proved yet again, Michelle Obama is merely another champagne socialist, more interested in preaching to you about how you should live than in being held accountable for providing any real work to make that happen.

How was I so sure? Well at first glance, there are the external signs. She didn’t lose the menopausal weight gain to show she was rested and ready for the grueling campaign. She didn’t write a new book or engage in a national “listening tour” to pretend to care about the ways in which her fellow Americans are suffering under the Biden/Harris economy. Most importantly, she didn’t cut her hair. You know, the natural braids that we “racist” white voters who elected her husband to two terms as president just weren’t ready to handle.

It’s been obvious all along she had no interest in being president. We have known this woman since 2008. She has always hated politics. She hated the grubbiness of gladhanding for votes, dislikes the American flag, hated living in the White House built by slaves, and still burns with resentment over the fact that she wasn’t as smart as the other kids at Princeton. She hated being first lady. After she left the White House, she claimed that she cried uncontrollably for a half an hour on Air Force One after Donald Trump’s inauguration. “Just straight, uncontrollable sobbing” from “holding it together for eight years” under the enormous, horrible, crushing burden of being the first lady of the United States.

She has built a personal brand out of bitterness, grievance, and resentment. How she has been able to spin that into a message anyone finds inspirational is a complete mystery to me, but apparently writing books about overcoming the slog of a life with a self-absorbed, narcissistic husband who is never around and who you actually kind of hate, appeals to affluent white college-educated liberal women. They feel engaged and good about themselves when they see Becoming on the shelf behind the cash register while shopping at Evereve. You go, girl!

Michelle is now wealthy and living her best life. Thanks to this supposedly racist, sexist country, she now has a personal net worth of $160 million. The Obamas have three homes, one in Kalorama Heights, one in Martha’s Vineyard, and one in Hawaii worth a combined total of $28.5 million. They may also still own their Chicago mansion, but they don’t seem to want to spend much time where the poor black folk live. When she isn’t snorkeling off the coast of Portofino and Greece with Tom Hanks on Steven Spielberg’s yacht, she condescends to share with the audience gathered to “nominate” Vice President Kamala Harris her inspirational brand of politics.

In her speech, she was her usual divisive, nasty, and bitter self. She told the audience about how her parents lived in a “quiet, steady way” not aspiring to great wealth and teaching her to be “suspicious of folks who took more than they needed.” The hypocrisy is breathtaking. Which one of her three luxury homes in elite zip codes is more than she needs?

If you dare to notice that a lifetime of “public service” has somehow made the Obamas very wealthy, you’re just racist. Mrs. Obama noted Donald Trump’s inheritance of “generational wealth” and implied that the only reason Trump was critical of her husband’s presidency was because of race. “For years, Donald Trump did everything in his power to try to make people fear us,” the former first lady said about Trump’s view of her husband’s political career. “See, his limited, narrow view of the world made him feel threatened by the existence of two hardworking, highly educated, successful people who happened to be Black.” Can you feel the joy, the divisive, race-baiting joy?

Even with the enormous wealth and privilege she enjoys, Mrs. “at a certain point, you’ve made enough money” Obama made sure to demonize wealth. “We will never benefit from the affirmative action of generational wealth,” Obama said. Oh, really? There seemed to be a lot of rich people speaking on that stage last night: Jack Schlossberg, son of Caroline Kennedy, will inherit around $100 million; Governor J.B. Pritzker, whose family founded the Hyatt Hotel chain, inherited wealth of around $3.6 billion; Doug Emhoff, who is worth approximately $10 million; and Sen. Gary Peters, with a net worth of $7 million. We are still waiting to learn how much is “enough money” for Barack Obama.

What I learned from the first Trump presidency is that Trump thinks wealth is great and wants to create prosperity for all without big government getting in the way. The Democratic Party, in contrast, is full of people who got rich in public office but pretend otherwise and want to use government to confiscate your wealth.

Having finished her speech and soaked up the adulation of the Democratic faithful, Michelle was wheels up and out of Chicago. She and Barack are not waiting around for Kamala’s acceptance speech. Been there, done that, more important things to do with their time. Michelle is back to Martha’s Vineyard to finish out the summer season with lobster rolls, long beach walks with friends, paddleboarding, and looking for a new chef. It can be so hard to get good help, you know.