On Thursday, CNN will host a debate without a live audience, of the two leading candidates to become president of the United States of America.

President Joe Biden or 46 vs. President Donald Trump or 45. Both want to win your vote this November.

It will likely be a contentious, knockout fight—a complete mud fest. Watch and see.

Until then, we can only imagine what might be some of the highlights emanating from this coming debate of the century.

Picture Jake “the Fake” Tapper, who loathes Trump and attempts to discredit him regularly on his low-rated television program, and lefty Dana Bash, whose husband was a high-ranking member of the Obama-Biden administration, as they welcome the two candidates and take more than 20 minutes to repeat the rules they plan to sternly impose. No bias at all here. Pointing at Trump they say, we will silence you even if we can’t gag you here.

Trump, smiling, might open the debate, quoting from the British Socialist Neil Kinnock, the man whose speech Biden plagiarized word for word when he first ran for president decades ago. He could ask Joe point blank, “Were these your own words?” Trump might also ask about the remark Biden made the last time the two debated in 2020, when Biden insisted (along with 51 of his deep state intelligence figures) that reports about Biden’s criminal, tax dodging, crack addicted, and whoremongering son Hunter’s laptop were Russian disinformation. Trump should ask Biden, “Do you stand by that, too?”

Joe Biden, a tad embarrassed, would probably mutter a word salad in which he conflates something stormy with felony and inadvertently discloses that Alvin Bragg was always on his “Get Trump” payroll. Or was it Jack Smith, Letitia, or Fani what’s her name? Anyway, Putin is mostly to blame, he’ll assure us.

Trump could then cooly detail how his time in office witnessed low inflation at 1.4 percent and $2 a gallon gasoline. He might remind the viewers that we had no wars and income and employment for every category of American were on the rise. He could then posit Biden’s horrible numbers and ask him, “Do you still stand by Bidenomics? Do you plan to tax people more or less? How about tips earned by hard working Americans?” Turning to the camera, he can simply restate to the millions watching on their televisions and online that famous Reagan line: “Are you better off today or when I was president?”

Biden, of course, would get huffy and scream in rage, “Liar, liar, liar!” and then abruptly speak in a hushed, low whisper something about MAGA extremists, 75 million of whom should be put in jail, especially those who protest too much, pray at abortion clinics, or attend church. He would openly lament that this orange guy, who was convicted by “his” New York judge, is putting “Our Democracy” is at risk.

In response, Trump should shoot back, “Will you renounce the progressive communist wing of your own political party—you know the ones who hate America, hate the West, hate profit, and want to defund the police?” He might taunt him, “Do it, Joe. Just do it, as they say, right here on national TV.” Joe is likely to slump into a funk and completely freeze.

The question should then swiftly turn to the southern border. Tapper will surely provide some looney context calling for even more asylum and open borders. He will say “facts” suggest there is no human trafficking. Trump can take that bait and say that what we actually have is an all-out Biden instigated invasion with almost 20 million illegal aliens entering the United States from some 150 countries, many of whom are terrorists or on the most dangerous country or wanted list, or from criminal gangs, and that it’s all fueled by the brutal Mexican cartels and human smugglers, who are making billions of dollars a year off the backs of Americans, especially those who have come here legally.  With contempt, he might say while pointing at Joe, “You killed Laken Riley. Admit it.”

Turning to world affairs, Biden’s supposed specialty (notwithstanding former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates’ assertion that Biden has never been on the right side of a foreign policy issue in 40 years), Joe will probably try to take a bow for starting World War III. He will announce his unwavering commitment to Zelensky whose energy company bribed, I mean paid, his son, the “most brilliant” man he knows. “Son of a bitch, I told them!” Biden will boast.

This will backfire when Trump replies. Offering peace and prosperity backed by American strength, he can start with a vivid reminder of the Afghanistan debacle, when Biden went against his very own military generals. He can go on to list error after error, from wasted money on the Ukraine to Biden’s support for Hamas and Iran. He has only to say the words “Wuhan flu” and “fentanyl” to tie both directly to China, Joe’s backer. He can end by probing Joe, “Whose payroll are you and the entire Biden crime family on?” And he can point to the millions from Red China, Russia, Ukraine, and a half dozen other countries the Biden family has raked in. Bank records are black and white.

By now, Joe will begin to get angry and appear very tired, as he sweats profusely, is barely able to remain standing, and the Adderall wears off. Demanding a drug test, Trump should pull out a sheet of paper from the past Surgeon General. It is his Montreal Cognitive Ability Test score. He should hand it to Tapper and demand Joe provide his score.  As Joe blusters and foams, we might take pity. Recall that even the special prosecutor in his classified documents case said he was an elderly old man with poor memory who has difficulty recalling key milestones in his own life. Trump might deploy the D word—yes, dementia—and suggest it might be problematic to have an aged commander-in-chief of the armed forces with his finger on the nuclear trigger. As Biden tries not to fall off the stage and calls for Dr. Jill and his nurse, Barack, to help him out. “C’mon man, no malarky,” he cries.

But with Joe on the ropes, Trump can go in for the knockout. Tapper, seeing what has transpired, will hastily call for final statements.

Joe will end by telling an old story about Corn Pop or was it, Cocoa Puff, and recall how his uncle was eaten by cannibals. He may misspeak about his wife, saying the Philly girl is the daughter of the infamous Giacoppa Sicilian mob family, which proves she, at least, will stand by her man when she is not busy jury tampering.

Trump will laugh out loud and says this in conclusion: “America will never be a socialist nation. We worship God, not government. It will, when I am president, be great again, free again, strong again, and prosperous again. It is time every legitimate voter across this land realize Joe Biden is a dope. He is a crook. He has been on the take for years on end. Let’s tell him what he most wants to hear: Don’t. Joe, we don’t want you anymore!”