The Missouri Synod of the Lutheran Church (LCMS) is at a crossroads, and not for the reasons most might think. Conservatives and liberals within the 2.6-million-member synod have bickered and postured over their presidential election, held during the 61st synodical convention in July. But another issue of equal significance was not even scheduled for discussion—one...
Author: Aaron D. Wolf (Aaron D. Wolf)
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Hate for Hate’s Sake
Radical feminist art has found a new home in Rockford, Illinois—or at least, you might think so, if you went to Rockford’s Riverfront Museum Park on April 6. There, in Rockford’s ever-evolving “cultural corridor,” you could view the works of “cultural critic” Mary Ellen Croteau, which included a Mason jar full of pickled—er, it was...
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Faith in the Hour of Trial
“Behold,” said the Lord, “I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves.” With this statement and by the Testament of His Own Blood, Christ inaugurated the Age of Martyrs—the first 300 years of the Christian era during which, in Jesus’s words, “They will deliver you up to the councils, and they will...
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The Bible-Thumping Next Door Neighbor
Ned Flanders—the gregarious, effeminate, Bible-thumping next-door-neighbor of Homer J. Simpson—has been canonized by Christianity Today, the leading voice of American evangelicalism. On the February 2001 cover, “Saint Flanders” is depicted in a Byzantine icon, holding a jewel-covered book in his left hand and making the sign of the Holy Trinity with his right. Marge and...
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“Poster Child” for Teenage Chastity
The Church of England’s conspiracy against traditional morality reached new depths during December, when their magazine Celebrate announced their official poster child for teenage chastity: Louisiana pop-tart Britney Spears. For those who do not own a television or subscribe to People, Rolling Stone, or Christianity Today, Miss Spears sells more records than any other female...
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Modern Elections and Heads of Households
What makes voting for your ruler a legitimate practice? Jean-Jacques Gore prattled nonstop throughout November about the need for “every vote to count” because then, and only then, would the “will of the people” be expressed. And Republicans offered no real counterargument, other than the sage comment of (President?) Bush: “We’ve counted the votes; now...
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Frozen Souls
Kelli Moye has become the pretty young face of America’s culture of death. Standing trial for the cold-blooded murder of her newborn daughter, she has provided us with a test case for Middle America. Should Roe v. Wade ever be overturned, states and municipalities will once again be free to pass legislation regulating abortion. How...
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Jacobins—and Jacobins
At the dawn of the 21st century, few of today’s public (or private) school students would argue with you if you told them that the United States of America was founded upon the principle, proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence, that “all men are created equal.” They would offer no argument, perhaps, except that they...
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Left Behind: Coming Soon
Left Behind: the movie is coming soon to a theater near you—maybe. Supporters of the multi-million dollar evangelical end-times film are attempting to sponsor it in theaters across the nation. Released first on video in order to drum up support, the film stars Kirk Cameron, former teen heartthrob and star of ABC’s Growing Pains. Just...
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Causing a Stir
The Onion caused quite a stir a couple of weeks ago when it was read by an unsuspecting Christian. Through the power of the internet and e-mail, a satirical story entitled “Harry Potter Books Spark Rise in Satanism Among Children” was forwarded from one concerned Christian to another. Chilling (and entirely fictional) examples of blatant...
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The Blue Pig
Al Gore, should he win the Oval Office in November, will owe his victory to the triumph of what G.K. Chesterton called “masculinism”—actually the pseudo-masculinism of the “suffragettes” who have transformed elections into popularity contests. Without the use of polls and across the ocean, Chesterton foresaw this phenomenon 91 years ago in his essay “The...
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Leadership Skills
President Clinton slid to the edge of his chair and clasped his hands together. “Polls can be tricky,” he said, an eager glint in his eye. Finally, the other Bill—the Rev. Bill Hybels—had stopped asking those “tough” questions about Clinton’s “current spiritual condition” and addressed the real reason for the interview: leadership skills. This, of...
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Teen Angel
“This is not your Grandma’s pageant!” the announcer proudly proclaimed. No, indeed, this was the 1999 Miss Teen U.S.A. pageant from Shreveport, Louisiana—”Brittney’s Beat” (a reference to teen super-Lolita Brittney Spears). Why even acknowledge that this sorry event happened? Because it provides a window into the existence of an American phenomenon, one that has profoundly...
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False Christs
“False Christs shall arise,” warned our Lord, “insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.” Christians of any other era would apply this admonition to the Christ of CBS’s Jesus, the April miniseries that captured a general endorsement from evangelicals and Catholics both here and abroad. On Italian television, the film...
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BJU, R.I.P.
Although the Greenville, South Carolina, haven of fundamentalism is still holding classes, the New World Order’s steamroller has flattened the life out of Bob Jones University. I’m referring, of course, to the recent abandonment of BJU’s ban on interracial dating and marriage on campus. The school’s president, Dr. Bob Jones, III, granted the dispensation on...
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A Peculiar Activity
“Abortion Kills Children” their signs say. They are the indefatigable pro-lifers (or “anti-choicers”) who “peacefully” protest the barbaric practice of elective abortion in communities across America. Here in Rockford, they line up outside the Ft. Turner building (fittingly, an abandoned public school), carrying signs and sometimes more. While Dr. Richard Ragsdale celebrates the modern sacrament...
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“Adopt a Refugee”
“Adopt a refugee,” the church bulletin urges. This Protestant church is encouraging each of its members to donate money, clothing, and personal items to the ethnic Albanian of his choice. On a marquee in front of an ornate Catholic church outside O’Hare Airport are the words, “Father, protect the refugees, in Jesus’ name. Amen.” An...
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“It Can Happen Anywhere”
“It can happen anywhere,” says Vice President Al Gore in his homiletic and halting manner. He is sitting on a panel across from Larry King and next to a psychologist and the Reverend Robert Schuller. Their topic is the murders in Littleton, Colorado. Candidate Gore is clearly taking advantage of this opportunity to promote a...