Recently, the European Union published a calendar for school children that noted Moslem and Jewish holidays but made no mention of any Christian holiday, including Christmas. The same principle operates here, in the countless public school “winter concerts” that highlight music for Kwanzaa and Hanukkah but feature no Christmas carols.

If the Eurocrats wish to achieve their goal of extirpating Christianity from their continent, they need to be more bold. To be logically consistent, they should destroy any building built by Christians or inspired by Christianity. That means all of Europe’s countless churches must go, but perhaps the Sistine Chapel can merely be painted over with advertisements instead. Works of art created by Christians or inspired by Christianity should be destroyed, too. Anarchists can be given hammers and turned loose on the Pietà, to finish the job begun by a mad Hungarian in the ’70s. The same rule should apply to literature. Instead of using oil or gas for fuel denizens of the new Europe could heat their homes by burning copies of Dante. Needless to say, music written by Christians or inspired by Christianity should be suppressed as well. Bach can be replaced by Europop. To be thorough, works of art, literature, and music preserved by Christians should be destroyed, too. Those anarchists can be turned loose on the Apollo Belvedere and the Laocoön after they finish with the Pietà. Finally, institutions founded by Christians should also be destroyed. I am sure the Eurocrats are up to the task of finding better uses for the land currently occupied by Oxford and the Sorbonne.

Once they have done all this, the Eurocrats will be well on their way to achieveing their goal of a continent free of any taint from Christianity. Of course, they might also have a continent no one would want to live in or even visit.