Canada is wallowing in jingoism. It began after former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau confided to Donald Trump that his nation’s economy would be in distress without the continuation of steep tariffs on U.S. imports. Trump replied that if Canada couldn’t stand on its own, maybe they should become America’s 51^st state. Trump further trolled Trudeau by saying he could then become Canada’s governor. Canadians went nuts.

Canadians have a reputation—of which they are only too happy to remind you—of being polite. However, they weren’t polite about Trump’s comments and invitation, especially the invitation. Indeed, they were very vocal about how much they hated the suggestion.

Trump, by agreeing with Trudeau that Canada requires special treatment from America and then not giving it, was insulting them. He further disrespected them by offering to share America’s destiny by potentially making them citizens. Canada prefers the status quo—an unacknowledged dependency with a comforting public display of independence.

Canadians resent living in Uncle Sam’s shadow. Sometimes, they act like the neighbor who didn’t get invited to the raucous pool party next door. They peek over the fence and complain the music is too loud, the party is unruly, the host is boastful about his home, and the beer is insipid. There’s some truth to that last point. American beer is often anemic. But the American party is exciting, and this fact eats at them.

Concurrent with politeness, Canada has a reputation for being bland. A wag once joked that the Canadian language is identical to American English except that it has no adverbs. Canadian comic Mike Myers said of his homeland, “We’re more like celery as a flavor.” Wild and weird America, despite its faults, manages to lure away Canada’s most adventurous souls. Myers is a good example. He has joined Canadians’ spasm of patriotism, wearing a “Canada is not for sale” T-shirt during a March 1 appearance on Saturday Night Live. But, after having achieved stardom on that American show, he can’t really claim the Land of Opportunity disappointed him.

After Trump’s demand for fair trade and offer of statehood, Canadians ignored the possibility of adjusting and correcting their own trade policies or to address Trump and his voters’ dissatisfaction with them. No one seemed to question the Canadian position. American tariffs were simply presumed to be bad because Americans are big bullies. Canadian tariffs are good because they’re small and need sheltering from the bully.

Canadian politicians, both left and right, competed to sound more truculent about defying Trump. They had an election to win and it gave them a good excuse to wrap themselves in the Maple Leaf Flag. The populace joined in, expressing a desire to keep their “elbows up,” a phrase popularized by hockey star Gordie Howe as advice on how to ward off other players. Canadians were enjoying the opportunity to be belligerent. Counter tariffs were announced, boycotts begun, the cutting off of electricity to U.S. states was threatened. Snowbirds from the Great White North declared they were staying home and weren’t going to tan away their winter-white epidermis with Florida sunshine. Chrystia Freeland, a big noise in Canada’s Liberal Party, even threatened nuclear war.

Canada has never lowered itself to building nuclear weapons, preferring to let America, Britain, and France dirty their own fingers constructing them to defend the free world. Consequently, Canada would have had to go knocking on French or English doors to borrow a cup of nuclear horror. Freeland told fellow Liberals that “Canada should seek closer ties with Britain because its nuclear weapons can help protect the country against Donald Trump.” She also suggested France with other NATO countries would back up Canada.

During the two world wars, when they had a population around 10 million, Canadians were stalwart soldiers. After the shooting stopped, aware any foe would have to get through the United States to harm them, Canada allowed its military to shrivel. Now, even with a population four times greater than it had during those 20^th century wars, it’s hard to imagine them taking on any nation at all. Canada prefers to style themselves a moral power, providing peacekeepers and not war makers to the world. It’s a kind of international virtue signaling. Peace keeping is worthy work, but it turns out that a country with an army must first create that peace.

There are three major flaws in Freeland’s atomic fantasy. First, Britain, France, and the rest of NATO count on America, not Canada, to defend Europe. Canada isn’t likely to be gifted nukes by any of these countries for the purpose of dangling them in the face of their most important ally. Second, Americans will be less willing to stand between Canadians and the world if they are targeted with borrowed bombs. Russia and China are rattling around in Canada’s Arctic attic and Canada doesn’t have the muscle to defend their claims. Third, the majority of Canadians live a short car ride from the American border. Raising mushroom clouds over American cities would spread a lot of fallout north. Their snow might glow.

Union with Canada is an interesting idea. In some ways, it is natural to feel that we have so much in common with Canadians that we are already one people. Putting aside French Canadians, we speak the same language. We have always dressed alike, eaten similar foods, attended the same churches, enjoyed the same sports, lived under similar laws, and shared the same popular culture (such as it is). The only sure markers of being a Canadian, and not a Yank, are the inability to pronounce “about” and employing “eh” instead of “you know.”

As a state in America’s federal system, Canadians could retain nearly all their laws and institutions but would have the benefit of our Bill of Rights which would offer stronger protections than their Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Their national healthcare system could continue as a state system if they wanted to keep it that way. Canadian patriotism could even survive. The various American states are proud of themselves. Texans delight in their cowboy roots, Louisianans love their gumbo, Georgians won’t lose their drawls, and New Yorkers love to look down on everyone else.

A union between the U.S. and Canada almost took place 250 years ago. It involved frontier pioneer Ethan Allen, hero-turned-traitor Benedict Arnold, and Founding Father Benjamin Franklin. Allen was the leader of a Vermont militia called the Green Mountain Boys. It had been formed to defend Vermont settlers from the colony of New York which claimed the region and insisted the settlers, who had bought their land from the colony of New Hampshire, pay large fees to validate their purchases.

Allen was a frontiersman, businessman, and a tough nut to crack. He was also a religious philosopher with an unorthodox conception of God. His beliefs, plus his routine use of profanity, got him kicked out of local churches. He was more welcome at the Catamount Tavern, in Bennington, where much of Vermont’s founding confabulations took place—think of Cheers but in addition to knowing your name they expect you to be bring a musket to chase off New Yorkers. The establishment got its name from a stuffed catamount posted atop its exterior. “Catamount” was a common name for a cougar. It was said Allen had killed the cat with his bare hands after it ambushed him in the woods. The carcass was stuffed and displayed as a warning to New Yorkers.

After “The Shot Heard Round the World” was fired in April 1775, Allen sided with the revolutionaries. The nearest bunch of Englishmen were the garrison at Fort Ticonderoga at the southern end of Lake Champlain. When rebels in Massachusetts and Connecticut asked his assistance to help capture it, Allen readily agreed and persuaded 130 Green Mountain Boys to join 60 men from the two colonies to take the fort. They were about to attack when Benedict Arnold showed up in a nice uniform. He claimed to be the commander chosen by the Massachusetts Committee of Safety. Allen assuaged Arnold by telling him he could be joint commander. It was Allen, however, who, when asked by a British officer under what authority he was demanding their surrender, responded, “In the name of the Great Jehovah and the Continental Congress!” The fort fell without a shot. It was a complete victory.

Both Allen and Arnold wanted to advance north into the province of Quebec. Congress agreed and a small army was organized. The American forces moving up the lake were eventually commanded by Brigadier General Richard Montgomery. Allen was thought too rambunctious to be given command. He went along as a scout.

Arnold was charged with marching across Maine to link up with Montgomery at Quebec in a pincer-style attack. Ironically, treachery frustrated his progress. The maps he procured to guide him through Maine’s rugged wilderness were drawn by a surveyor loyal to the British, who sent the Americans on a torturous path. When Arnold’s troops finally got to Quebec, they were greatly reduced in number and starving. Montgomery had captured Montreal but was killed outside Quebec. The combined American forces camped around the city. In addition to being poorly fed, ill-financed, and without the necessary artillery, they suffered an outbreak of smallpox. They couldn’t storm the city. Frustrated, Allen talked some of his Green Mountain Boys to join him in a reckless attack. It failed and he wound up in a British prison ship. He’d eventually be released but his impetuousness prevented him from getting another command.

Benjamin Franklin had gone north to persuade the Quebeckers to join the Revolution. The new republic would have welcomed them and guaranteed the Catholic Church’s freedom. The Americans, however, had little money and couldn’t purchase supplies. This, plus the weakness of their troops, persuaded the Quebeckers that the Americans would lose their war. The Canadians didn’t want to risk British vengeance for picking the wrong side. Franklin was unsuccessful and the Americans retreated.

In 1778, in an inversion of the American strategy, reinforced British forces moved down Lake Champlain planning to meet up with a British army moving north through New York. Their plan was to divide New England from the other colonies and it might have squashed the Revolution, but the British were dramatically defeated at the Battle of Saratoga.

Arnold’s bravery was key to the victory at Saratoga, but his valor wasn’t enough to overcome the political pull of other officers who denied him credit. He became bitter when he didn’t receive the advancement he desired. Infamously he conspired to turn over the American fortifications at West Point to the British. After his treachery was exposed, he managed to escape, eventually leading British troops against his former comrades. The British paid him well for his treachery but didn’t respect him.

During the fight at Saratoga, Arnold lost his leg. A monument at the battle site, honoring his contribution to the victory, depicts just that leg, the only part of him that never betrayed his country.

Franklin managed to leave Canada with a useful souvenir, however: a soft, cozy fur hat. It resembled a coonskin cap but without a tail. When he traveled to France as the diplomatic representative of America, he brought the rustic hat along with him. He wore it often and it became a trademark, appearing in many famous portraits of the old man. The hat helped establish Franklin in France as an unpretentious intellectual from frontier America. This, plus his success with aristocratic French ladies, helped him gain France as an American ally, which was key to America winning its independence.

During the War of 1812, American troops attacked the British in Canada again, but treachery and incompetence led to their defeat. Afterwards, Manifest Destiny carried America to the Pacific but not into Canada. America had gone to war with the British Empire, which the Canadians defended. When the British stopped being a threat, America lost interest in Canada.

Should America incorporate Canada, today? While there would be economic benefits for both nations, it’s not a good idea. Aside from having to solve their problems on top of our own, we’d have to deal with their more progressive politics and their willingness to accept authoritarian imposition. There’s also an electoral threat.

Being about the size of California in population, Canada would obtain a similar number of representatives in the House of Representatives, say 52 in a new total of 487. Canada’s 10 provinces would also want individual statehood, with two senators each. That would mean 20 senators in a Senate of 120. Canadians would control about 11 percent of the House and about 17 percent of the Senate. With American congressional party affiliation bouncing around 50 percent Democrat and 50 percent Republican, if Canadians voted as a block, they could control Congress. In effect, Canada could take over America.

So, thanks, but no thanks, to Canadian statehood. Now, we should see to it that we free ourselves from the burden of their ridiculous tariffs on our goods.