Great American Inventions

Decaffeinated coffee.  (What’s the point?)

The hula hoop.

Political nominating conventions.

Criminal athletes.

The Celebrity, a meritless and insignificant person famous for being famous.

The Celebrity as a political force.

Purposeless voting.

Patriotic balloons.

Carnival tent religion.

Mass-produced food and patented food crops.

Mothers in combat.

Euphemisms for war: Preserving the Union, War to End All War, Police Action, Crusade for Democracy.  And don’t forget Collateral Damage.

Unguarded borders to replace the population of an advanced country with a new and different  population.

Rap music.

Medicine bottles that can’t be opened.

“A nation of immigrants.”

Written constitutions that judges may change at will.

Atomic bombs and nuclear warheads (with a little foreign help).

Therapeutic television (Phil Donahue, Oprah Winfrey, etc.).

A financial system with privatised profits and socialised risks described as “free enterprise.”

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