In view of the ongoing partisan MSM feeding frenzy over Donald Trump’s hot microphone comments about women, the question is raised over what constitutes impermissibly lewd thoughts, words, and actions. The following is a helpful guide:

1. LEWD. This means the way virtually all men sometimes think about women, with varying degrees of frequency; the verbal expression of such thoughts by some but far from all men, usually in circumstances of privacy; or acting on such thoughts by a distinct minority of men who assume, often correctly, that they can get away with it because of their wealth, fame, social standing, or good looks. Lewdness, so defined, is inherently threatening and demeaning to women, frail flowers that they are, whom society must rigorously defend against men’s lewd thoughts, words, and actions pending final eradication of testosterone.

2. NOT LEWD: ACCEPTABLE. This means that because women are rough and tough and can do anything a man can do except way better, they may, to varying degrees, think about, talk about, or act towards men in a manner analogous to men’s lewdness towards women. This is entirely acceptable. However, if men respond positively to women’s non-lewdness, so defined, that may constitute lewdness on their part depending how women feel about such response.

3. NOT LEWD: VIRTUOUS AND PRAISEWORTHY. This means any thoughts, words, or actions formerly considered immoral and falling under any category of the designation LGBTQILSMFT [watch this space for future additions] or certain artistic genres (e.g., hip hop). Such virtuous, praiseworthy non-lewdness, so defined, must be celebrated in parades, awards, and government-sponsored expression. Criticism of or disrespect for—or even insufficient enthusiasm for—this category of non-lewdness constitutes hate speech and is grounds for social ostracism, economic ruination, and, increasingly, legal sanction.