I never thought I’d get back to this silly subject for Chronicles ever again, but the Markles—as I now refer to them—have a way of getting our attention, and embarrassing Al Capone in the process. As the Feds were closing in on him, Al was told Chicago was getting too hot and he should move to Canada. “Canada?” growled Capone, “I don’t even know what street that’s on.”
For any of you who, like Capone, have never heard of the place, Canada is a very big country run by an even bigger fool called Trudeau. Now this lucky country also has the Markles, or the royal riffraff, as some embittered old British salts now call them. But let’s not be hasty. Looking back, it seems to me that royal romances have a way of ending up quite badly, even 2,500 years ago.
Old Homer, who started the whole royal soap opera genre, was anything but a fool. He created Helen of Troy as an innocent victim, totally manipulated by bad boy Paris and even by the much-too-proud brothers Agamemnon and Menelaus. I thought of Homer recently when Meghan—though not quite as beautiful a woman as Helen—took center stage and threatened to do to the House of Windsor what the Paris-Helen duet did to the House of Atreus.
As a 1960s zonked-out hippy would say, “Man, this is wild!” A divorced, D-list, 38-year-old, mixed-race actress marries a 35-year-old member of the British royal family and, within two short years, demands to be moved abroad to Canada and California, to be protected by the British secret service at the taxpayer’s expense, and has the nerve to blame British racism for her move. Doubtless this is after having been so advised by close friends such as publicist Ken Sunshine, TV personality Oprah Winfrey, and close friends George and Amal Clooney.
I’ve seen this stuff before. Don’t forget, Harry’s mother knew how to play the PR game as well as anyone. She played the “hated” tabloid press like a Stradivarius—even in death. No matter how much her son claims that the paparazzi killed his mother, the photographers had been forewarned that the couple would be leaving the Ritz in Paris. Her drunken chauffeur killed Diana, no one else.
Diana’s upper-class upbringing taught her the rules of the royal media. Meghan thought she knew how to handle them, but she did not. She grew up hustling in Hollywood and had no idea of the world she married into. Advised by hucksters and PR people, super-woke showbiz riffraff, dubious billionaires on the make, and bitter old pop stars like Elton John, she turned against royal advisers who counseled duty above all else. She saw only enemies around her, unless they were celebrities or their ilk.
Meghan’s ace in the hole became racism, the magic word of the 21st century that opens all doors and buries all enemies. According to Meghan and her backers, the Brits are racists and have made her life intolerable because of her mixed blood. We’ve read such crap before, mainly in The New York Times, a paper that has encouraged Meghan and her lovelorn hubby Harry to keep playing the race card. In the last five years, The Times has written more lies than Pravda managed in 70, but the less said about the Big Apple’s anti-white-male-Christian newspaper the better. Britain is not racist. Its black population is 3 percent, yet no one was cheered more loudly and treated better than Meghan and her mother during her wedding.
What changed is that word leaked out about the bride’s Hollywood attitude, including screaming at underlings, demanding total privacy, and refusing to attend royal duties. She began to lecture the Brits on poverty. Poverty is awful, but when the lecture comes from someone whose wedding cost millions and was paid for by the taxpayer, and whose house cost many millions more and was also paid for by the taxpayer, the message gets somewhat diluted. What came across clearly was repulsive leftist grandstanding by a royal couple who are very rich, very self-serving, and very imbecilic. Neither of the duo has any conception of how ordinary people live their lives. In Meghan’s case, this is surprising, because until she met Harry her life was not that of a star but of a struggling actress trying to make the grade.
What is not so easily understood is the couple’s intolerance for royal traits such as stoicism and patriotism. Instead they chose individual narcissism. Well, this did not work out for them. The 93-year-old queen wisely said no, you can’t have both independence and tax-exempt, all-paid-for lives. As a royal, Meghan was obliged to serve the crown, not to advance her career in Hollywood.
Mind you, the couple will still enjoy a rarefied existence. Papa is very rich and will pay—but Harry I’m afraid will end up a glorified bag carrier for his wife. She believes in “brands,” and now they are a brand. If you don’t buy their brand you’re racists, all you suckers out there.