What goes up must continue to go up and up.

People love us for our good intentions when we tell them to be like us. If a few bad ones resist we can bomb them. We must be right because after every war our enemies want to move to the U.S.

Whoever dies with the most Stuff wins.

Newer Stuff is always better than older Stuff.

Watching sports is a big part of life.

We have the best military in the world. We have 700 support people for every man and woman in combat.

Presidents are always good and wise people, except for Nixon.

Democracy really works. Just look at all the outstanding people running for President.

America may not have been the first in space, but we had the first space team without race and sex discrimination, which is better.

America is a nation of immigrants and a great successful melting pot.

God always favors America because of our good intentions.

American democracy is God’s plan for the world.

We have the greatest educational system in the world. We spend more per pupil and have more kids in college than any other country.

We are a very religious people, especially since we got rid of all that negative unchristian stuff in the Bible.

People of every race, religion, and nationality are equal—except for towel-heads who hate us for our goodness

Great American inventions include shopping malls, electricity, basketball, television, computers, rock music, Facebook, and airplanes.